It’s probably one of the most discussed items about nudism: Where comes the sexual aspect in the picture? Nudists keep saying that their lifestyle is non-sexual, but how does that really work? Are they really not attracted to other naked people? Don’t they get excited by seeing all that nudity? If nudism is such a non-sexual thing, are nudists having any sex at all?
At the very beginning of Naked Wanderings we already tackled this subject in the blog post “What’s with the whole nudism and sex thing?“, but we thought it was time for a revision.
At the very beginning of Naked Wanderings we already tackled this subject in the blog post “What’s with the whole nudism and sex thing?“, but we thought it was time for a revision.
Interestingly, this topic is almost always started by a non-nudist. Which is understandable. In the non-nudist world, nudity is very much linked to sex. Think about it, when was the last time you’ve seen a picture or video including nude people which had nothing to do with either nudism or sex? Even (non-naturist) magazines including nude people without any sexual interaction have the purpose to tickle your imagination in a sexual way. Or did you really think that we believe you’ve just bought the latest Playboy for its articles?
Why is nudity linked with sex?
To go even further, look at the shower gel commercials. Which woman really washes her hair in such a sensual way?
It’s all very commercial, sex sells. Not really the actual intercourse but mostly the idea of sex is what will make you buy this magazine, that car or that kind of shower gel.
It’s all very commercial, sex sells. Not really the actual intercourse but mostly the idea of sex is what will make you buy this magazine, that car or that kind of shower gel.
Other than that, sex is also power. Through history it has been used to take control over people. There are ample examples. Ever since the beginning of time, both men and women have been using sex both as a reward or as a price. Look at the #metoo movement. Sex has become a currency. Even now, in several communities the ruler can pick whichever woman he wants. In many religions, you are only allowed to have sex after approval of God.
As a result, the human body became property. And even the sight of it by others would mean a loss in control. Many nudists express a feeling of freedom once they allow their body to be seen. Because it’s in a non-sexual way, lots of the oppression evaporates.
As a result, the human body became property. And even the sight of it by others would mean a loss in control. Many nudists express a feeling of freedom once they allow their body to be seen. Because it’s in a non-sexual way, lots of the oppression evaporates.
To understand what’s following, we are going to ask you to do something difficult. Just for the course of this blog post we want you to completely remove the link between nudity and sex in your head. Let them become two completely unrelated things.
Try to see nudity as nothing more than a state of dress and sex as just a behaviour.
Ready?
Try to see nudity as nothing more than a state of dress and sex as just a behaviour.
Ready?
Why is there such a taboo around nudism and sex?
Only by unlinking the two subjects, you’re probably asking yourself the same question. If both have nothing to do with each other, then why is nudism often still such a taboo?
We have to go back to the history of nudism. When the lifestyle got started in the beginning of the 20th century, the idea was certainly not as accepted as it is today. To avoid problems, nudists and naturists moved their practice to secluded areas. Deep in the woods or on private property with a huge fence around it. The first so called nudist colonies.
We have to go back to the history of nudism. When the lifestyle got started in the beginning of the 20th century, the idea was certainly not as accepted as it is today. To avoid problems, nudists and naturists moved their practice to secluded areas. Deep in the woods or on private property with a huge fence around it. The first so called nudist colonies.
It didn’t take long of course until the word started to spread that there were naked people behind those fences. Groups of them. Men, women and also children. Given the strong link in most people’s heads between nudity and sex, it isn’t very difficult to imagine what they were thinking. What’s going on behind those fences must be terribly terribly wrong. This idea disgusted many and unfortunately also attracted some with completely the wrong intentions.
The nudist community started to react strongly on those rumours by saying that sex is something that doesn’t exist in a nudist community. That everything that could only be slightly considered sexual should be avoided by all means. While nudism was a taboo in the outside world, sex became a taboo in the nudist community.
Do nudists have sex?
Today, two decades into the 21st century, some of these taboos still remain. There are people who still can’t believe that a group of naked people can be together without having sex. And many things that can be considered as sexual are still forbidden or very much frowned upon at nudist places. Some of these are universal and somewhat became part of the nudist etiquette. Erections for example are to be avoided or at least covered up. Women are asked to keep the distance between their legs at a decent level. Couples are not supposed to touch each other’s genitals or breasts.
Some nudists clubs or resorts are even going a step further and disapprove on the general touching of each other, commenting on each other’s bodies or talking about sex. But those are becoming less and less.
Do you still have nudity and sex disconnected in your head?
Then you probably see that this nudist etiquette is actually nothing different than the textile world. Men who get an erection at any beach will probably also try to hide it from the others. Women in bathing suits won’t relax next to the local swimming pool with their legs wide open. And few will start massaging their partner’s privates when they’re at the bar of the Marriott or the Hilton.
Do you still have nudity and sex disconnected in your head?
Then you probably see that this nudist etiquette is actually nothing different than the textile world. Men who get an erection at any beach will probably also try to hide it from the others. Women in bathing suits won’t relax next to the local swimming pool with their legs wide open. And few will start massaging their partner’s privates when they’re at the bar of the Marriott or the Hilton.
Everywhere in this world, we’re keeping our sexual activities behind closed doors. That’s exactly the same at nudist places. Of course nudists also have sex. In their rooms, just like everyone else.
Don’t nudists ever get attracted to other nudists?
We’re going to ask you one more time: Do you still have nudity and sex unlinked?
Great, then we can reply to this question without you going all “See! I knew there was something!”.
Of course nudists get attracted to other nudists. It would be very unnatural if it wasn’t so. But the interesting thing is that this attraction has nothing to do with the nudity. We would also be attracted to that person if he or she was wearing a bathing suit. Or was dressed like an eskimo.
Great, then we can reply to this question without you going all “See! I knew there was something!”.
Of course nudists get attracted to other nudists. It would be very unnatural if it wasn’t so. But the interesting thing is that this attraction has nothing to do with the nudity. We would also be attracted to that person if he or she was wearing a bathing suit. Or was dressed like an eskimo.
It’s also not because all of us happen to be naked that we suddenly loose control over our animal urges and start jumping each other right there and then. Relationships are formed at nudist places but just like everywhere else they most often start with a good conversation or dinner and a movie and what happens next is nobody’s business.
Nudism in an age of casual sex
This blog post was almost ready for publication when we stumbled upon a great insight from the Meandering Naturist about nudism and sex. This is the 21st century and casual sex has taken a prominent place in many people’s lives. The newspapers now and then give you the statistics about how many decide to be “happy singles” these days. Where “happy” is certainly not a synonym for “without sex”.
Today we even have apps that help us being sexually active singles. Although some couples who’ve met on Tinder eventually do get married, the platform is most often used for casual sex dates. This technology wasn’t the beginning of casual sex though. Even before Tinder and Grinder and who knows which other apps, who has never heard silent screams coming from a bar toilet at two in the morning?
At nudist places, casual sex is almost completely linked to swinging. It should certainly be avoided and a quick hookup at your nudist club might have you banned for life. If we keep claiming that the topic of sex is exactly the same with or without nudity, where does this take us when it comes to casual sex?
Are nudists pretending to be holier than textiles by banning casual sex? If we keep pretending that this doesn’t exist at nudist resorts and punish the ones who do cross the line, will we ever be able to break that old taboo of nudism and sex?
Are nudists pretending to be holier than textiles by banning casual sex? If we keep pretending that this doesn’t exist at nudist resorts and punish the ones who do cross the line, will we ever be able to break that old taboo of nudism and sex?
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Great read! The misconceptions that people have regarding nudism and sex still amaze me. For one, in America, all of the nudist resorts that I have visited aren’t full of eye candy. The vast majority of their members are old or out-of-shape white people. I’m not saying that they aren’t beautiful in their own right, but I am saying that these places aren’t full of naked models catching everyone’s eye causing instant sexual arousal and urges. Also, while we do check out each other’s genitals, there are many attractive people that I have met where I can’t recall what they look like below because I was too focused on maintaining eye contact. For a true nudist, it’s just like talking to anyone else. You wouldn’t (shouldn’t) stare at the breasts of a clothed woman while holding a conversation, so it’s the same when conversing with a nude woman.
On the other hand, some nudist places take desexualizing too far. Of course, no one should be having sex in public at an authentic nudist resort. But I feel that anything that is generally acceptable at a textile place should also be allowed at a nudist place. Many resorts pretend that nudists are asexual, and any hint of sexual interest or orientation should be banned, like kissing your spouse or dancing closely. There is also the thought the erections are natural, and while they shouldn’t be paraded, they also shouldn’t have to be hidden if they unintentionally occur. The same for a woman that is comfortable as spreading her legs to catch more sun and breeze down there. That implies that nudist men can’t handle seeing a woman’s full labia or vagina in full view without it being sexualized, while men can (and do) spread their legs as far as they choose without consequence. Just as with my opinion on public nudity, I’ve always felt that the burden should be on the viewer to look away if they don’t like what they see instead of imposing your beliefs on the other person.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Jamie!
It’s very true what you say about remembering people’s bodies. The first time we went to a nudist place we could probably remember how everyone looked down below. After a couple of times we’d hardly remember any. We’re not going to lie about this, the extraordinary ones still catch our eye. Men hung like a donkey or women with huge breasts still leave an impression. But it’s not any different as when they would have a huge nose for example.
Erections and spread legs are indeed still a point of discussion but we believe it goes further than sexual attraction. As we say in this blog post, men rarely parade with an erection in their speedo on a textile beach and neither will you find many women in bikini with their legs wide open.
It’s rather a kind of modesty which is shared between nudists and textiles. And if we want to make nude more “normal”, we will have to adjust to some of the “normal” standards. Whether we agree with them or not.
Yes, I totally agree that we often have to suck it up and go against our beliefs to help normalize nudism. I’m still torn on the erection issue because for one, nobody should be looking at my penis, and for two, it’s much easier for them to simply look away than it is for me to hide it. That being said, I can’t remember a time when I’ve gotten an erection at a nudist place. I do sometimes get one right when I take my clothes off outdoors for some reason, but I think it’s from the excitement and not sexual at all, and it goes away quickly. I’ve seen single men strutting around Haulover Beach with full blown erections, so I know that there is definitely a fine line when it comes to intent. But I believe it’s pretty easy to tell if someone with a hard on is allowing it for sexual pleasure or if it’s a natural body reaction to other things. For example, if a man is staring or making eye contact, or walking around with the erection and it isn’t subsiding. But unless I’m being creepy about it, I don’t see how my erection should be bothersome to anyone else that is minding their own business.
You make a good point. But depending on the situation it can still be tricky. If you’re talking to a woman and you get an erection, what will your wife think? What will the woman’s husband think?
Suppose that it happens when you’re talking to children…
Erection is just a natural physiological reaction. If children got adequate sexual education, they are able to ignore it because they don’t expect any following offensive action after it.
Regarding wife (husband can’t see obvious signs of wife’s excitement) and husband’s erection, let’s be honest: at least half of people according to statistics had affairs and divorces during their life. Lust is decreasing during years of marriage and serial monogamy (form of polygamy) has place. And there is nothing bad in it: I prefer my wife to other women because we feel and understand each other, we have strong mutual trust and built warm relationships. But I am honest and don’t hide that other women looks attractive for me, as she doesn’t hide her sympathies. And this honesty strengthen our love. I never had erection in naturist places – just because I respect fellow nudists and rules of these places. But I don’t see a crime in unobtrusive signs of attraction or consentual light flirt.
We completely agree that jealousy at nudist places is not necessary nor in place when you have trust in your relationship. And we all know that other people might/will find our partner attractive. And we don’t really care about that, but mostly because it’s not directly visible. Women do have a significant advantage because their excitement is not physically seen.
The “problem” with an erection is that it’s most often seen as a physical version of “hey, I find you sexually attractive”. Even though there’s very little jealousy in our relationship, neither of us would really appreciate if someone came over and said those words.
We also agree that erections are a natural reflex and that there’s basically nothing wrong with it. But then again, we have literally seen thousands of nudist men over the years and not more than a handful of erections. In most cases it was a first time nudist who probably just got excited because of the new experience rather than from a specific person.
Because we’ve seen so few erections, we tend to believe that the large majority of nudist men has no problems keeping their penis under control. When we see people stating (almost exclusively online) that erections should be allowed, we always wonder why this person has such a big need for that. As 99.9% of the nudists we meet in real life don’t seem to have an issue with avoiding erections.
Let’s hypothetically say that erections would be allowed at nudist places, where do we draw the next line? When do they become sexual? Will men still be allowed to touch their penis? How many strokes become masturbating?
It’s a very difficult subject and as said before we don’t really understand the need for it as it happens so rarely.
I fully understand your point and the topic is not a simple one. On the other hand, could it be that the absence of erection is the result of self censorship? So, the one wearing clothes is even more free and relaxed with own reactions because his erection is invisible. Of course, there should be respect and people should not cross other people borders, so erection should be controlled to some extent even if there is a freedom of expression. But my point here is that erection should not be treated as something “criminal” causing man to be banned from the nudist place. I think we should concentrate more on keeping borders of other people. And it doesn’t matter what is bothering people around you: loud sound, unpleasant smell or demonstrative erection. If they disturb people around at this time and place, the activity should be stopped. In other conditions it’d ok or even welcomed.
We know that there are many stories around the internet about men getting banned for having a “sudden unexpected” erection. Nevertheless we’ve never heard those stories first hand. As far as we know and have experienced, erections are not seen as something criminal. It can happen and everyone knows that it can happen. Only when men are too proud of it or when it happens at a very inconvenient timing (picture a woman bent over to set up a tent and a man with an erection watching her), most of the time nobody will care.
Hi, me and my wife are both naturists/ nudist and although we are over the mid fifties we have got a healthy sex life and it is kept behind our bedroom door. I have never had a hard-on at our local resort and believe you me, there are quite a lot of sexy and beautiful girls at the resort, and even if you asked me I could not describe what their privates look like as we tend to look each other in the eye, face to face when we inter-act.
One problem is the number of “swingers” who hijack naturism in order to promote their sexual tendencies. Which begs the question are many naturists latent swingers? Or is it that swingers are so comfortable with the notion of social nudity that they think of themselves as naturists? There are far too many beaches all over the world where sexual activity takes place in close proximity to the naturist areas. So it’s no wonder that many “textiles” see naturists as degenerates or perverts, I have personally witnessed acts of sex and exhibitionism being carried out while others looked on, some openly masturbating. I hasten to add that having stumbled upon this sexual display I quickly retreated and ushered my wife and children away from the spot ( we had been blissfully unaware of the goings on barely 30 meters away!).
Sex and naturism are always going to be difficult bed fellows!!
Many swingers places also include social nudity, which makes it easy to mix up both. We certainly wouldn’t say that many naturists are swingers, but we are pretty sure that many swingers are also naturists. We don’t really have a problem with that, except that they have to stick to the rules. If it’s not a swingers place, there should be no swinging…
There are indeed several beaches of which it’s known that there’s more going on than just naturism. Unfortunately these beaches are still called naturist beaches. There can also be confusion from both sides. Someone who visited such a beach and saw that everything is possible might think that this is like that at every nude beach. Some will be disgusted and never visit a nude beach again. Others might start behaving inappropriate at every nude beach they visit.
“We certainly wouldn’t say that many naturists are swingers, but we are pretty sure that many swingers are also naturists.”
Well lol … interesting, causeim pretty sure a swinger would say it totaly the oposite hah.
Once they get kicked out of a couple of nudist places they’ll say something different 😉
But that wasnt my point hah, its like whats older, the chicken or the egg? That was more my point.
It’s not like the chicken and the egg because the two are basically not related. They just share an important aspect: social nudity.
Be natural, be comfortable, be polite. That’s a true nudist.
We are pure naturists in classical nudist places and we like swinging in places dedicated to it. The most important point is to keep clear borders: people who want to relax w/o attracting sexual interest should have places to feel comfortable and don’t see someone annoyingly roaming around with signs of excitement, and ones who want to be kinky should have places to socialize in sexually charged environment.
It’s funny to hear about erection ss something BAD: man just don’t have luxury to hide sexual charge contrary to woman, it can happen. It could be nice just to ignore it: I wonder how teenage boys can be involved into nudism if erection is a crime – they are hypersexual.
The base principle is mutual respect and ban of any violence.
Maybe thats why there are almost no teen boy nudies.
I didnt say there arent, just that most of them stop being nudies at that age, so ive heard and read.
“While nudism was a taboo in the outside world, sex became a taboo in the nudist community.”
Wow this is one of the best lines i ever saw here, wow.
My guess is this, and we have to start from the end and then go back to the beginings.
Today , someone thats a nudie, is more openminded then one that isnt, and we can all agree that thats a fact.
Or at least more openly openminded, as one can be openminded as one can be but still not be that publicly .. its kind of a tounge twist.
What i wanna say is , that if one doesnt mind being seen by ANYONE nude, in textile world, that person is way more opneminded, hence being that, one would natrually think that that person is sexually more openminded as well, and that doesnt have to be even close to that but thats how it is today, so hence that, its easy to understand why nudism is taboo and connected to sexual stuff.
And how did all of this happen? Well.. very easy.
Prolly in the begining of times, spec in the places where it was doable, being naked wasnt even considered as being naked, it was just they way u were…
Like imagine if it was ALWAYS day, no nights, anywhere … we wouldnt even call it DAY, there would be no reason to do that as there is no oposite of it.
Then as time passed, clotes became more like a fashin or a status, and being nude became less and less a thing.
And all that went so far, that today , when someone is stepping back in time , that someone is considered odd.
Not cause its strange, but cause its not common, you didnt grow up with it, its not normal ..
As i wrote many times before, being normal is not good nor bad, i say this cause ppl love to connect normal to good .. no…
Normal is not good, normal is just something u are used to.
Now , do u guys remember how i always say that i dont like when ppl “abuse” words, or change their meaning?
Well its same with this , being nude what was once a norm, now is considered as sexual pervy whatever .. so as you can see, those things with those words, can also be transfered into social norms, and it just shows how bad it is, when something is changed ,and over period it becomes the total opposite of what it once was.
We can ,easly connect to this everything that was once a norm and now isnt ,isnt to say the least.
I read about ancient Hawaiians not long ago ,and how they lived .. would something like that be considered as “normal” or good today? Or the ancient Greeks? Or not even that long ago, some colonies in the state of NY?
This, is what sux with democracy, because when one majority wants to push their way of ways, there will always be ppl on the “other side” , and that also includes the being naked thing.
You’re very right about this. “normal” means nothing more than commonly accepted. Accepted by the majority. That’s why minorities will always be seen as abnormal.
I must add that the media plays a major role in maintaining and promoting the sexual stigma of nudity. In countries like the US, we are taught to believe that the human body is explicit and that genitals and female nipples should always be covered. Anything else is censored or deemed inappropriate content. And then when you turn on the television, the only times you see naked bodies are when people are having sex or when a scene is meant to sexually arouse. Nudity in movies and television is almost always portrayed gratuitously and never casually. There is always a motive for showing a nude body on screen, and it is never one where the person just happens to be relaxing or doing mundane things in the buff. By doing this, they are continuing the taboo around nudity and ingraining in our minds that we should only be nude around other people for sexual gratification. After viewing this from childhood on up, most people accept this notion whether it is discussed or not, so much so that they are never and to separate nudity from sex. And then it is those people, the majority, that establish the rules and laws to make sure that us nudists, the minority, are always seen as perverts that should be banished to little strips of beach or behind gates and walls on relatively small pieces of land in the middle of nowhere. It won’t be until we get more representation in both media and government that our image will change and nudity will be accepted as anything more than sexual.
I think that it is just common sense as to what is appropriate and what is not appropriate at a naturist beach or club. Sexual displays are not appropriate at a naturist beach or club.
Sexuality is natural, normal and enjoyable, but it should be done in private. As an example of inappropriate behavior, I have occasionally observed women fondling their partner’s penis at a naturist beach. Other beachgoers do not want to see this, and this is not acceptable at any beach. Regarding erections, if an erection occurs naturally, it can be casually dealt with, but it should not be paraded around a beach or club. If there is dancing at a club, sexually-suggestive dancing, e.g., grinding, is not appropriate. I don’t think that true naturists want to see these kinds of things, and sexual displays at a beach just gives the anti-nudity crowd ammunition to call for the closing of naturist beaches, ruining it for all of us.
I was at a naturist beach where a young and attractive woman yoga instructor was conducting a free yoga class. The instructor and most of the participants, including myself were fully nude. The instructor was totally unselfconscious and posed in ways that exposed every part of her body, which felt perfectly normal and natural. Yes, I was attracted to her, but not in a lustful way. I admired her her total naturalness about her body and viewed her as a kindred spirit. I am not saying that I wouldn’t be sexually attracted to her if I was in a relationship with her, but it would have been inappropriate in the setting we were in. Women who shed their clothes in a public setting are trusting that men will treat them with respect, and we should honor that.
I am 38 years old mother of 17 years old son and we are full time nudists in home. In some nude resorts I saw some women purposefully put their legs widely open to seduce men. Mature nude men can overcome from their seduction and sexual thoughts, but the teen aged boys can’t . While this innocent boys got erection, every body is looking him like a ridicule which mentally effected them in front of other nudists. At the same time real women who seduce will escape.
Very true : relationships between naked human beings are not so different in ordinary life when dressed. When I am in a nudist camp I am not concerned by possible, potential erections in unappropriate moments. As a matter of fact it never happened to me so far in public, on the beach for example or at the grocery store where convinced naturists shop in the nude. Just, because, most of the time, I’ll have a « hard-on » in private and intimate situations in presence of someone I find attractive. Proof is that we make love more often than usual with my wife when we are at the nudist village where we go in the summer on the French Atlantic Coast. The context is essential : gentlemen, do you have an erection when your doctor is examining you closely?
The erection thing could actually be a subject of a complete blog post on its own. But we largely agree with what you’re saying Bernard.
Although we believe that there’s a difference between the occasional erection and the repeated erection.
The few erections we’ve seen at naturist places almost uniquely happened to first timers whose excitement of this new experience was somehow expressed more south than their brain. It could for example also happen after a nap on the nude beach. These people have normally no problem with being discrete about what happened and mostly even prefer to be discrete about it.
When it comes to repeated erections, we think it’s exactly like you say. This doesn’t happen at non-sexual places. And if it does, it’s probably because the person doesn’t see a naturist place as non-sexual.
There might be another difference between teenagers (who struggle with hormones) and grownups, but in the end we believe that our idea is true for the large majority of naturists.
From the last paragraph by Nick & Lins, I now trust that they understood the concern of teen aged Mothers. The production of testosterone hormones in teen males are very high is the sole reason for their spontaneous erections which is a natural phenomenon . So consider the teen boys in a special manner and respect them in their boner stage. Otherwise families having teen boys will gradually disappear from the naturist world.
To clarify, we mentioned that we understand that teenagers are a different case, but this does not mean that we think that they should be treated differently.
We still believe that they have to follow the naturist etiquette and rules of naturist places.
Teenage hormones are the cause of lots of other behaviour (like rebellion) as well. It’s important to realise this, but it does not mean that they should receive a wildcard.
We don’t think that because teens tend to move away from naturism, their families will as well. And neither do we think that the occasional erections are the main reason for them to move away.
The Naturist Living Show has a great podcast about this subject: https://www.naturistlivingshow.com/2019/04/keeping-youth.html
I think that all of u are overreacting to hardons…
Let me put it this way.. u guys want equal rights? Like between fems and males?
Well ,when a woman or a teen girl is horny, no1 can really notice that, unlike with males ,so …so much for that…that makes all males sickopervs while all the ladies are made to be angels.
And secondly , not every1 is the same, ppl will have different kind of reactions towards different things, in different times and ways.
Just becaue one is more horny at a nude resorts but “can” hold off and “show” it only with “theee” person that makes them be like that in private, thats one way of doing things ,and everyting else i listed in the ways thing, ..so why is that “the right way” of doing things?
Some ppl just get off so easy ,they almost dont even need a reason for it, thats the point of being different, imagine a beach with 30.000 nude ppl of all ages and kinds , and no1 will ever get horny there? What u gonna do ? Shoot them? Cut the damn thing off?
No matter what any1 will ever say, being horny or sex, IS and will be connected to being nude, cause ppl dont get sexy or horny cause of ones new iPhone or Icewatch or tattoo .. or their freshly died blond hair .. the simple point is just that why is the one way the right way while everything else is the wrong way..
So, you agree that erections are something sexual, right?
And given the fact that naturist places are non-sexual, do you think that they’re in place there or not?
Look at textile beaches, which are by default non-sexual as well. Suppose you would be walking around there in a speedo and suddenly get an erection. Which everyone can notice. Would you think that it’s the most normal thing in the world and keep on doing whatever you were doing?
Well, we don’t know about you, but most men won’t and wait until it goes away before getting too close to others.
Then we wonder why this should be different at naturist places.
And you’re completely right, women can get horny as well and nobody will notice it. That’s just how things are and there’s nothing we can do about it. The world isn’t always fair.
We often compare erections at naturist places with farts. Both are very natural. If it happens one time while you’re in company, you can excuse yourself, take a couple of steps back or pretend like it didn’t happen. In any case, chances are low that you’ll get in trouble.
If it happens 5 times in an hour or if you’re all “hey guys do you see this/smell this?”, don’t be surprised if the others don’t like you anymore.
In this world there’s no place for people who love to fart. But there are places for people who like to walk around with erections. These are called swingers places. And unlike the name suggests, you don’t really need to swap partners there. You just need to be open for sexual nudity.
Im not sure you understood my point.
Yes, i think that erections are sexual ,eccept when sleeping, i read somewhere that a morning wood is due to more oxygen in the blood then needed, so i read, dunno if thats a good or a bad thing (i think its u,sing common sence ,a good thing).
My point isnt comparing nude beach to a textile or in general nude vs textile thing, cause its way easier to hide it while dressed, my point was comparing it with females.
When they get all crazy, noone can notice that, when males do, its shoot him!
I dont think there is ,are, places that are sexual or non sexual, its a personal thing as i said before, noone can label others, and tell them that this is/suppose to be sexual and this isnt, cause if so , wheres the ever popular word of freedom fit in there?
Ya , some will say, well buddy .. ill be offended if i see a man or a boy with a hardon next to me .. sure, some can also say then that they will be offended if they see a black guy in the same pool they are,or a Muslim, or gays making out, or if someone is way too fat, we can go on like this forever .. and i can ask ,well ,who has the right to say whats offending and what isnt?
What does being openminded really mean?
You probably dont understand too well what im saying cause im looking at it from another perspective, not of how it is right now, but from a vacum, where one can ask that how come sertan things are ok while others arent.
I wouldnt compare farting or throwing up with being horny, im not comparing whats natrual and what isnt ,but the same thing of females vs males being horny, where a female can be as much as pleased, drawling 24/7 on the beach to whatever made her be , while a guy will be chased with a flaming fireball.
We kind of replied already to the male/female thing… It’s nobody’s fault that there is a significant physical difference between men getting horny and women… We can only blame the universe for that.
But then again, men don’t have to worry at a nude beach in which angle they put their legs. They can go 180 degrees and nobody will bother where women are not supposed to spread too much or people will think that they have the wrong intentions.
You see? Each gender has its restrictions.
About being open minded… That’s a bit what this post is about and here we also blame the naturists when it comes to be open minded about sex. Not the physical aspect, but even talking about it.
Of course being open minded is related to a certain subject. One can be completely open minded about religions but still think that naturism is a big no. Or vice versa.
We don’t think that anyone is 100% open minded.
Yas genders have their own ways, but .. if one will have wide open legs, and if one has an erection, are two totaly incomparable things…
I agree about the open minded thing, but then, how come everyone likes to call them selfs open minded, yet i`ve learned that 9/10 times, the ppl that are presented as open minded are way more close minded that those that dont even mention it.. something similar with the tolerance thing.. those that love promoting it are actually the ones that are the most non tolerate pps.
Tho being open minded is not related to a sertan subject, its related to everything ,and anyhow at the end of the day, why do ppl love using it so much if as i already said, they are not that open minded at all , you know ..as in most things , there are steps, steps of things , so i like to say it this way, and that just shows the full hypocrisy of humans .. “everyone” is open minded/tolerant, to the level that fits their needs/desires .. , anything beyond that is “horrible” and disgusting to them for a very simple reason…, by calling whatever that is , disgusting, bad, sick, is their way of normalazing their level of open mindness ,thinking they will be more eccepted cause hey .. we have a common enemy , dont fight us,u think we are bad? look at them! , lets alltogether fight them….. that way those ppl are manipulating ,and using the ones that are over their level of openmindness ,to normalize their own.
Thats not what being open minded should be, nor tolerance.
As i said many times before, at the end of the day, who gives any of us any right , to decide what is ok and what is not?
To understand better my points of views, picture this … 99% of the ppl i ever talk with here on in RL, are like a person in a huge river, or sea , trying to get to shore before they drown or freeze to death ..Jack..Jack?? Rose! frwiufrr.. MY view is .., why am i in that water in the first place? who put me there and why ,and why i do i agree to start my story from that water?
We mostly agree with that. It’s similar to previous discussions about freedom. Full freedom doesn’t exist and neither does full open mindedness. In fact, it would probably be a bad thing to be 100% open minded. Not only would it point to schizophrenia (being able to fully understand extreme right and extreme left political ideas for example) but also there are things you rather don’t want to be open minded about (we think about rape, murder,…)
Just like with freedom, we think that being open minded can be seen as a scale where some can be more than others. If you only understand the ideas that completely fit your own way of living, you’re not open minded at all. But if you can accept some ideas that are not particularly your own, you’re more open minded than others.
Like you, as a non-nudist, can understand certain aspects of nudism. Which is more than those who just don’t want to hear about it and keep saying that it’s all dirty and shameful.
Again, there is no black or white, only shades of grey.
Ya but , of course being open minded doesnt mean allowing one to kill someone cause of whatever reason or rape or rob.. thats common sence, theres a diff between being open minded and anarchy.
Tho i still stand that closer to that stage , would be more fair then how it is now.
Thats why i dont like todays world, and where its going, cause its so fake and hypocrite, elitist, in many ways its everything what nudism isnt by its definition,meaning on the values of if or however its called.
I do fully agreed with Mr. Iceman comments below.
“Well ,when a woman or a teen girl is horny, no1 can really notice that, unlike with males ,so …so much for that…that makes all males sickopervs while all the ladies are made to be angels.When they get all crazy, noone can notice that, when males do, its shoot him!”.
Being a full time nudist mother of nudist teen aged son 17 and daughter 15, inside my home, I noticed several time that for example during the time of seeing a movie , sometimes when romantic scenes will appear, naturally teens gets same excitement in their mind. The result is that boy gets an erection and girl gets wet. But the naturist world treat boy in a ridiculed manner, is the only concern that I raised here.
Yeah. Us males are really horrid creatures.
You don’t want to know what happened the first time I ever posed for an art class. I was 18, didn’t have a clue about “nudism”, and unexpectedly had a full-fledged panic attack.
Of course, that was 35 years ago.
The photos used for advertising a nudist resort are chosen in the same way any other product would. The idea is to associate the product with youth and love and happiness. The people aren’t the real “us”, they are the “us” of our fantasies.
Marketing 101
Exactly. I call it the “cult” nudist mentality, display pictures (including the ones on this website) that exude youth, love, and happiness, but the reality is so much different, at least here in America. And when it comes to erections that happen naturally (and easily) to some men like me, the advice is exactly the same from cult nudists…it is no big deal, just cover it up or take a dip in the water. If it weren’t a big deal, then why the hell cover it up or be made to be shamed if the said member is doing nothing to cause alarm? Unless cult nudists are really into genital staring and erection analysis through their sunglasses…in which case they are total hypocrites.
In a perfect world where nobody visits nudist places for the wrong reasons, erections wouldn’t be a problem. But in our world, they are, because they are seen as a sign of sexual intentions. After 4 years of pretty much continuous traveling to naturist places, we can probably count the number of erections that we’ve seen on both hands. One or two newbies who just got overwhelmed by stress or excitement, for the others it was pretty obvious that it was sexual.
We completely agree that an erection may happen suddenly and that you can’t always help it. But how difficult is it to be discrete about it when this happens, knowing that this is the norm/etiquette. It’s important to put yourself in the position of others. How would you feel if a random dude gets an erection when he’s near your wife or your children?
My wife and I have been Naturist/Nudists for quite a few years now. She is 72 and I am 62 and we live in the United States along the southern East Coast in North Carolina.
I am usually nude while outside and she enjoys doing yard work topless and sunning nude, we live on secluded 2.2 acres if land.
We have been to quite a few nude resorts and we have found them very relaxing, making friends is easy, and the rules are easy to follow.
The only thing we have found to be off concern is my occasional erection that occurs when I am totally relaxed and laying on the lounge chair soaking up the sun. Due to sun poisoning, I usually have my face covered with a hat or towel do I’m unable to see anyone. Yet the warmth from the sun and a breeze across my body will, on a rare occasion cause me to obtain an erection. I’m usually sleep same not aware of it and my wife, if she notices it, will lay a towel over my groin.
She and I have seen a few erections that have occurred from non sexually aroused circumstances and warrant ZERO cause for alarm and take them in stride as part of the male physiological make-up.
Considering men get an average of 11-15 erections a day, it’s more unnatural to NOT see a man hard.
Interestingly, the average human farts 5-15 times a day. So how many times have you heard strangers fart today?
This may seem like a ridiculous comparison, but it makes total sense. Because this is not about it being natural or not, but about etiquette and respect.
If you don’t think others fart around other people, you must have never been to Walmart! Or around our campfires! My grandmother would sound like she was smuggling ducks when she walked.
Nick&Lins,
I would like to start by saying, I am very jealous of you two. What little I have read, you guys really got a good thing going. I truly commend you for including this topic as most naturists would like to dismiss it away and shun anyone who dare bring it up. If anything, because it is so widely shunned, it is likely the most needed conversation to be had in the naturist community. I agree with your comments on social norms, and I believe that the mainstream naturist movement have been trying to shift the public perception about nudity in a way that is not too much for the average puritan to possibly be open to. The fact that nudity is a state of dress and sex is an action as a result of a state of mind really should be a simple concept that we all can wrap our heads around. However, I do believe that the naturist community takes it a bit too far sometimes. Similar to your analogy of likening having and erection in public to farting. It unwittingly casts a negative shadow on erections in general. I know what you were going for, and I agree that really there is no reason why any normal man cannot control an erection. Mainly because the erection starts with the mind. What that erection shows others is the state of mind the proud wearer of it is in. I truly believe that any grown man can for sure control his state of mind and in turn his state of erection. Now that being said, I personally am not offended by an erection whatsoever, depending on the circumstances. If a group of people are together on a more secluded area of a beach far away from others that may be offended, and they get a bit flirty and a guy gets an erection, why should it be a big deal. Or for that matter if the guy is just laying out enjoying the sun and gets an erection simply because he allows it to be so, why should he need to hurry and cover up. As long as he is simply laying there and minding his own business, he should not be ashamed or need to hurry up and roll over. I am not afraid to say that when I am just hanging in my own pool with only my wife around, when the sun feels nice on my skin and the breeze is nice and cool, I will let my mind go, and I will get and maintain an erection. It is nice to just lay out in all my glory and simply enjoy everything. In those circumstances, it has very little to do with sex. It is just the feeling and the enjoyment of total freedom. I have nothing to prove and nothing to be ashamed of. I think some men and maybe myself included are making the argument from that perspective. The problem with some men is that they just don’t clue in to the social signs around them, or they just do not care. Their “unit” becomes a weapon and scares every other “normal” person off the beach. On the other hand, as naturists, irregardless of the struggle with popular opinions, have a long way to go with tolerance. Naturists are some of the most judging bunch of people I know. Maybe rightfully so, as they have an uphill battle to have social nudity be more widely accepted. Happy wandering and stay naked.
From the very beginning of Naked Wanderings, we haven’t been afraid to kick holy doors and talk about the topics that are often avoided. Just because we believe that it’s important to talk about those things. And given the popularity of our blog, we think that we were not the only ones who miss those discussions.
We don’t think that comparing an erection to a fart makes it negative, but it does show that it’s all about perception and etiquette. There are countries in the world where farting after a meal is a sign of appreciation to the cook. But in the western world, farting in public is something you’d like to avoid. Similarly are erections better avoided at naturist places. Not because it’s bad, but because it’s the etiquette.
As you mention, the real problem is not the erection, but it’s failing to read the social signs. If it happens when you’re among friends, nobody will feel offended. But if it happens while you’re talking to some stranger’s wife, or worse, some stranger’s kids, it’s a whole other story.
What I find really funny with all this talk and discussion about erections pro & con – and the “evil hard penis” is that we wouldn’t be having this discussion (because we wouldn’t even BE here) save for the “hated” (in some people’s minds, like the “boner patrols”, “penis police”, etc”) erection. We are sexual beings, whether the radically conservative “body negatives” realize ths or not. Attraction to the female sex (visual) is “engineered” into the male psyche to ensure tht mating occurs, & the human race (for better or worse) continues. Sex drives vary greatly among males, & generally can’t be turned off &on like a light switch (which maybe some females (& impotent males) can’t comprehend). That is what and who we are, biologically,
and even psychologically, to some degree. However we are also social beings, and have to incorporate that into our social behaviour, as best we can. I guess tht I wd consider myself “middle of the road” concerning the subject of erections in public. They are the sign of a healthy male, & should not be stigmatized or make the guy who gets one feel ashamed or feel the need to “cover it up” or “run screaming to the nearest pool”, as some would suggest. It should be the behaviour, & not the size or angle of the man’s penis that should be the concern. He shouldn’t have to apologize, or even mention it, as long as he’s being polite, & not “demonstrative”, pushy, or causing it to happen, by touching himself (we can’t know what a man’s thinking, but that should be none of anyone’s business, as long as the observable behaviour is polite, altho some “body negative” types would probably like to use “thought police”, if that were possible), (I’ve met a few, and in a way they’re even
worse than the other extremes, the “out & out swingers” !) In discussing some of our 4-legged friends, 1 sometimes hears the phrase, “does the tail wag the dog”? That same logic could be applied to an “erected man” in my opinion. It shouldnt be the size or angle of the dog’s tail (or in the man’s case, penis) but whether he decides to “wag it” or not – it’s the BEHAVOUR , people !
It’s not just about behaviour, it’s about social etiquette.
Would you find it totally fine if you see a guy with an erection talk to your wife? Or to your children?
Even though an erection is purely biological behaviour and can happen without sexual triggers, it’s still considered something sexual. Which, let’s be honest, it is most of the time.
We don’t see why people want to make such a fuss about this. We’ve been spending lots of time at naturist places and have seen many thousands of naturist men. Yet, we can still count the number of erections we’ve seen on one hand. The large majority of men are not suffering from accidental erections.
(for my previous comment above, had forgot to fill in the save name & email part)
….btw, to the guy that said, “….and there is really no reason why any normal man cannot control getting an erection”- what is “normal” in your mind, anyway ? As I stated in a previous article, sex drives vary greatly (& have a lot to do with age & testosterone levels, among other factors, so the ability to turn an erection off & on like a light switch is not a “one size fits all deal” by a long shot) and btw, I am not
a doctor, but my son-in-law is, and he would remind you that it is the autonomic nervous system that is associated with getting erections (or not) & while the old “will power”, “thinking of baseball”, or “Aunt Matilda” trick can work once in while, its far from automatic, & once an erection starts, it’s about as hard (pun intended) to stop, as attempting to quit breathing.