During the last several weeks, we’ve been receiving an increasing number of questions about how to convince your partner to try nudism. Or in some cases even how to make them allow you to be naked. Maybe it’s the time of the year, spring is in the air and the opportunities to spend some time outside without clothes are growing. You see the pictures on social media and you dream of joining. But your better half doesn’t want to hear about it.
Be prepared to work
What often annoys us a bit about these questions is that some people seem to expect a ready-made answer. “Five steps to turn your partner from prude to nude”. In fact, if we would make a YouTube video with this title, we’re sure it would be a huge success. But it would also be enormous clickbait, because that’s just not how it works.
We’re not psychologists or life coaches and we’re definitely not in a position to give you educated advice about your relationship. The only thing we can do, is share ideas we’ve picked up along the way. Theories based on the things we’ve seen and the stories we’ve heard.
If you want us to fix this issue for you, it’s better that you stop reading right now because you’ll be wasting your time. The effort will have to come from you. We’re only here to show certain paths that may or may not lead to success.
First listen
Something we’ve learned is that not wanting to be nude, with you or with others, is hardly ever the real issue. There’s always something beneath the surface. Sometimes it’s culture or tradition, it could be religious beliefs, body confidence issues, maybe something traumatic from the past or a previous negative experience. Jealousy is another one that regularly pops up, there’s the fear of social stigma, of harassment, or of doing something out of your comfort zone.
We can go on and on like this, but the point is that just talking about how great and liberating going naked can be won’t make much of a difference. Instead, it’s important to listen to your partner’s perspectives. Avoid at any cause replies that start with “yes, but”, “you got that completely wrong because”, or just anything that does not validate your partner’s feelings. It’s extremely important that your partner can express concerns and doubts without judgment.
Then talk
Now that you have somewhat of an idea of what’s keeping your partner from trying nudism, it’s your time to talk. DO NOT try to cancel out any of their concerns. If your partner struggles with body issues because he has been bullied during his teenage years, saying something like “research has proven that nudism is good for your body image” isn’t going to help at all. Who cares about research when you’ve been carrying all that weight all those years?
A much better idea is to just share your own experiences. How you’ve learned about nudism, what you struggled with before taking the first step, how it changed you and why it is so important to you. Tell happy stories, talk about the lovely people you met. If you can match this with any of the concerns your partner has, that’s probably a bonus, but not really a necessity.
The one word that disturbs us the most in the “how do I convince my partner” questions is “convince”. This is not about convincing, and definitely not about trying to trick someone into something. It’s about inspiring. This is something we try to do on this blog as well. We don’t preach nudism and we don’t think that everyone SHOULD become a nudist. We just try to paint an honest picture of what it’s like for us and why others may enjoy it as well.
Be prepared
There is a chance that your partner will think that you’re full of crap and just trying to push some buttons. Again, we’re not relationship coaches and don’t know a single thing about the vibe between you too. So it can be helpful if you have other resources to rely on. There are over 600 blog posts on this website that may include some information you want to share. And there are plenty of other websites, blogs, YouTube channels, podcasts, etc that focus on different elements and share different stories.
If your partner struggles with religious concerns, for example, there are several religious naturist websites with a ton of information. If your partner fears harassment, there are podcasts talking about this specific issue. We’ll leave a brief list of resources at the bottom of this blog post, but we very much recommend doing your own research.
Find common ground
By now, you’ve learned about your partner’s concerns, shared some of your success stories and maybe threw in a podcast or two to share different perspectives. Now you’re arriving at a point where decisions will have to be made. If your partner still refuses to change opinions or even talk about it, unfortunately, we don’t think we can help you much further. You may want to repeat the previous steps, but as we mentioned earlier, there is no recipe for guaranteed success.
If you managed to get your partner’s attention, it’s time to find common ground. We believe that nudism is a journey and different people are at different points. In fact, they start at different points and end at different ones. For example, being naked among each other in a private setting has always felt natural to us. Even before we knew about nudism. For others, this is already a huge step. On the other end of the spectrum, we feel no need to be naked 24/7 and we don’t take off our clothes just for the sake of it. For others, being nude as much as possible is the ultimate goal.
Even if neither of you has ever tried nudism before, the fact that you brought it up already puts you on a different base than your partner who still has concerns. There’s nothing wrong with this. Actually, many nudist couples find themselves on different bases. Sometimes for the rest of their lives. You can easily see this in nudist resorts, where one is always nude and the other is often wrapped in a sarong. Again, that’s completely okay, as long as you don’t try to pressure the other into doing something they don’t feel comfortable with.
Set boundaries and respect limits
Every step in the “nudist journey” comes with certain boundaries and limits. We can’t stress enough how important it is to respect those. Mutual respect and consent is really the only way forward.
Let’s say your partner isn’t into nudism but you are, you could agree that you can be naked around the house when it’s just the two of you, but not when people come over. Or not in the garden where the neighbours can see you. Or you could agree to visit a clothing-optional place where you both can be yourself.
You can also try to come up with different situations and how you will cope with those. What if at a certain point, your partner doesn’t feel comfortable, how will you accommodate this? This is something that has proven to be a success in our relationship. From the very beginning, we agreed that the person who feels uncomfortable is always right. If one of us feels awkward or distressed about a certain place or situation, we both leave. No discussion. This doesn’t only apply to nudism, by the way, but also to going to bars, meeting new people, or walking the streets at night.
Growing your relationship
Many nudist couples will tell you that going naked together has had a positive effect on their relationship. There’s no doubt that nudism has several advantages for your mental health, but we also believe that the process we’ve just walked you through can be positive for your relationship on itself.
We’ll repeat it once again, this is not about “convincing”. This is about celebrating your differences and growing together. About open communication and emotional connection. And most of all, about trust and respect. We cannot predict the outcome as there are many possible paths. But the more paths you manage to explore, the more chance that you’ll end up with a situation that is beneficial for both.
We have been lucky to discover nudism together and not have to go through this process. If you have any success stories of your own, feel free to leave them in the comments below.
Resources
There is a lot of information available online about nudism in general as well as in-depth analyses of specific situations. On this blog, we definitely recommend our First Time Nudist Guide, which explains many different elements and will give you an idea of what to expect. And our Help, my baby is a nudie post, which was written specifically for people who have a nudist partner.
Furthermore, here’s a short and very incomplete list of other resources. There are many others to be found, these are just the first that come to mind:
✅ Naturist Living Show Podcast
✅ Naked, Nudists, and Naturists Podcast
✅ The New Nudist Podcast
✅ Women in Focus Podcast
✅ Women in Nudism website
✅ Lake Como Garden of Eden Church
✅ Black Naturist Association
✅ Nude and Happy blog
✅ Destination Clothes Free
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Wonderful post. I know that my wife will never join me, and I have come to accept that. I also have stopped inviting her because it makes her feel like she’s letting me down. But, she is enormously supportive and encouraging. She sees the benefits that social nudity has had on me, and loves hearing about my adventures at the club I belong to. Another solo male club member says that a day or two a week at the club let’s him bring that joy back home with him, and it’s healthy and beneficial to his relationship.
So, she’ll never be “convinced”, and while I wish she would share this with me, I also respect her wishes and love her all the more for encouraging me the freedom to follow my own path.
I’ve hit this from the other end.
My wife contacted me on a dating site back in 2000 as my header said I am a nudist, and she (as a then home nudist) was interested in developing it as a lifestyle.
So she was happy, if a little nervous, to start her public nudity by having a long weekend at a naturist place in Spain after a few months of nudity being the norm when we were together.
For about 12 years, until the end of her menopause, we went to swims, campsites, beaches, we made friends with other people, and then returning from a friend’s one day she said “that’s the last time”, and (with one exception) it was.
(The exception was when I said that I wanted to go to a swim for my birthday in 2014, even then as soon as we got out of the pool she wanted to shower and leave instead of the usual sit and chat.)
And after that, one instance of her going topless on a clothes optional campsite in 2018, and not even taking her coat off on the beach the same week.
Now we’re back to her being a home nudist with nobody but me.
Terrific commentary. It is not about convincing. It is about the discussion and shared concerns to build the relationship. My wife has deep scars that prohibit her from moving forward. She is working through those and while she may never come to the place I am with naturism we have at least had healing and strengthening of our relationship. Thanks for all that you do.